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Writer's picturePsychology Team

Understanding Psychological Manipulation

By: Noelle N. and Tharuneeka J.


Manipulation is a huge subject with room for various different interpretations. There are different types of manipulation, however, this would focus on the psychological aspects. This is to provide insight on understanding psychological manipulation.


Psychological manipulation is the practice of using indirect tactics to control behavior, emotions, and relationships, often associated with emotional abuse . Those who manipulate others do so because they feel the need to control their environment and/or surroundings. This type of behavior can stem from: fear, anxiety, personal gain, desire to control, desire for power and superiority, self-esteem issues or simply, boredom. Manipulation can be broken down into three stages: 1) Manipulator discovers a weakness in his/her victim. 2) Manipulator takes advantage to use against. 3) Isolate the victim so that they become dependent. Some, manipulate unconsciously while, some actively strengthen their manipulation tactics. Some typical signs of manipulation include passive-aggressive behavior, threats, dishonesty, secrets, isolating the victim, gaslighting, verbal abuse, guilt tripping and feigning ignorance or innocence.


If manipulation happens to be an issue, four things to consider to help your situation would include, disengage, confidence, confrontation, and staying on topic. When disengaging, if someone expects an emotional response, choose to not give it to them. Let’s consider this: if a manipulative friend flatters you and then asks for a favor, move the conversation along. Being confident with yourself prevents the discovery of a weakness or insecurity. Whereas, manipulation allows another person to evoke doubt in their abilities, intuition, or even reality. A simple way to deal with this is to call out the manipulator’s behavior. Begin with a statement to find a resolution while proving that their tactic isn’t working. When calling out their behavior, they may try to minimize the situation or muddle the situation by bringing up other issues as a distraction. Sticking to your point is the way to go.


Manipulation can be seen in various relationships. Some common relationships that see this kind of behavior could include marriage/partnership, family, and/or friendship. In a partnership, manipulation can cause one partner to feel bullied, isolated, or worthless by the other. Many people may know that they are being manipulated and choose to overlook it. Signs that are seen in this relationship include: exaggeration, guilt, selective affection, having secrets and/or passive aggression. In a familial relationship, commonly between the parent and the child, parents who manipulate their children can cause the child to develop signs of guilt, depression, anxiety, eating difficulties, and other mental health conditions. A study revealed that having manipulative parents may increase the likelihood of the child to adopt the similar manipulative behavior. Manipulation can be observed through the lack of accountability from a parent and downplaying a child’s achievements. Another manipulative relationship can be seen in friendships, where one person may be using the other to meet their own needs. A manipulative friend might coerce the other for favors, like loaning money, or they may only reach out when they need something and not reciprocate the same support.


Manipulation is a widely used term with no understanding of how it is seen in real-life applications. We can see it portrayed in movies and tv shows, unaware of the reality that some people may experience similar situations. Understanding psychological manipulation is getting a step closer to preventing you from succumbing to manipulation, while getting more insight on manipulation.

 

References:


Brennan, Dan. “Mental Health.” WebMD, 19 Nov. 2020, https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-manipulation. Accessed 28 Mar. 2022.

“Infographic: Psychological Manipulation.” Psychologia, https://psychologia.co/emotional-manipulation/. Accessed 28 Mar. 2022.

“Manipulation.” GoodTherapy.Org Therapy Blog, 16 Apr. 2013, https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/manipulation. Accessed 28 Mar. 2022.

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